| It's Tuesday, it must be Mobile Alabama... The sky is overcast, the humidity is high, we're still 150 miles from Panama City our first target for the day, but the sun is burning the clouds off and we've plumped for shorts all round.. it's still summer in our minds dammit. We left the hotel & pretty soon found ourselves in Florida. I was trying to make Florida the 50th state I visited, but this trip has ruined that plan.. now it's just south Florida I'm leaving 'till last.. The coastal roads made a pleasant change from tromping through the backwoods of Alabama, but berift of roadside attraction.. hang on .. what's that sign say? "Naval Air Musuem" .. oooh. nobody warned me about that puppy.. so RK gave in after a short session of pathetic begging and we were on the way in.. |  I love this stuff.. |
 Nice ornaments.. |
10 miles later and the "approach road" led us to the museum proper, no admission fee made RK feel better about another large building full of clapped out flying machines, I'd never heard of this place but it's *huge*.. very nicely laid out too. All the usual stuff is here, and a bunch of Planes I don't know about, not being a fan of naval flying. They did have our 2nd Apollo capsule of the week tho, and I think about the 5th or 6th one I've seen in the flesh, there's something very surreal about these objects that have been into space and bare the burned scars of re-entry, they're also starting to look way too old tech to be capable of going to the moon.. We didn't stay in the museum long as it wasn't in today's plan, so we left after about an hour. If you're in the area tho it's well worth a visit, two 50's vintage navy planes were buzzing the museum as we left. RK was happy that the "Hazardous Noise Warning" signs were of use.. |
| The coast road is very cool here, white sand beaches on either side of the road, we stopped to watch some trainee surfers and stare at the sea like a pair of Ohioans.. 100 miles later and we're heading into Panama City looking for a place to eat, Gilligans was our choice.. first really bad meal of the trip, tuna the texture of a decent sized pencil eraser for me and micro scallops for RK.. nasty. avoid. Back onto the road and into the touristy part of Panama City searching for our "Turn around point" ie. the part of the trip that denotes half way.. "Goofy Golf" has the honor of being our target this trip. Yes, friends, we've driven 1600 miles for a game of Goofy Golf.. (yay!) After much "Is that it? and "Shit we've missed it"'s we pulled into a *really* tacky part of town and lo' there it was.. constructed in 1959, intented to last a couple of years, still going strong in 1999: Goofy Golf! |
 White Florida beach.. |
 Car Park.. Monster.. Obvious.. |
We took a few pictures of the concrete monster in the carpark and then paid our $8 for a round of Goofy Golf course number Two.. I got off to an appalling start, RK got a hole in one, and I took 4 putts.. this sealed my fate and after 18 holes I was on 54 but RK was Goofy Golf champ with a score of 50.. we had a blast, the course is tres' cool, a windmill, a cave, loads of tunnels for the ball to disappear into all manner of concrete wonders.. and, get this.. original 1959 postcards.. just how many did they order 40 years ago that they still haven't sold out?? The lady at the desk assured us they're real busy during the season, so it's in no danger of disappearing anytime soon. A quick fill-up with gas and a pour over the map to plan our route to Atlanta and we were off.. route 231 north it was.. with 5 hours driving ahead of us we settled in for the drive.. |
| About 30 mins up the 231 we saw a sign that read "Rat Eatin' Frog!" followed in quick succession by "The most unique tourist trap in Florida" and on the other side of the road "Gatorman..." well, it took us about a mile to realise we'd just driven straight past the sort of stuff that makes us very happy, so we did a U-turn and headed back... on approaching the Rat Eatin' Frog sign, we couldn't see an obvious entrance, so we did another U-turn and parked up in an antique store's car park on the other side of the freeway, luckily the road was quiet so we crossed over to investigate.. sure enough the sign really *did* say "Rat eatin' Frog", there was also a large billboard promising all sorts of wonders like "Undersea Museum" "Over 20,000 items" and "See 400ft wall mural!" The entrance was all overgrown, there were cages with chickens, goats & pot bellied pigs in them and some dilapidated signs informing us that the owner of the place was being mis-represented in the press and that the animals were being properly looked after, in fairness they looked healthy enough to us.. |
 irresistable... |
 Gatory.. |
To be totally honest.. we were scared! It was VERY creepy.. there was
a sign over the door that said "Admission $4" but the place was deserted
and by now all the animals were making a load of noise.. we went back
to the car and decided to see if the "Gatorman" place was of interest..
"Gatorman fruit, unique gifts & souveniers" said the sign.. and it didn't lie.. we passed a bearded guy doing some rudimentary wood carving as we went in, he said hello, we said hello back & went inside the ramshackle structure.. we found all sorts of goodies-- mummified alligator heads, alligator claws.. strange sculptures, beanie babies and fruits of all sorts.. weird.. we took some pictures and started to leave.. "anything I can help you folks with" said the creepy sculpting guy.. we engaged him in conversation.. turns out he *is* Gatorman! we asked him some simple stuff about alligators and then asked about the place over the road.. Turns out he owns it, and until recently he had lions, cheetahs, snakes, alligators, and all sorts of stuff over there but the state and thieving staff have forced him to close it.. however he's working on it and it will open again soon..
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We chatted to Gatorman for 20 mins or so when he beckoned us
back into the store and showed us some photos of what the place over
the road was like when it was open.. one word: Awesome!! a one man
freak show! he had photos of scarey (Scarey!!) Amazon statues that
he'd obtained through nefarious means, Gatorman with his hand in a live
Lion's mouth.. Gatorman baiting a big Alligator, Gatorman playing with
a huge snake, Gatorman rules!!! the paintings on the walls of
his menagerie featured himself in all his chubby glory, check my website
for photos of Gatorman when I get home.. as he spoke we fell further under
his spell, we agreed with him when he told us about the Uzi he had bought
to sort out his problems with theiving locals.. we totally understood his
hatred of the animal welfare inspector..
Gatorman has new help "Flying in from Chicago" next week, and then he hopes to reopen his tourist trap. I for one wish him all the luck in the world, he is a true eccentric and worth his (bulky) weight in gold. We must have spent over an hour listening to Gatorman, so now we were way behind schedule.. a new plan was hatched, which explains why at the time of writing I am in LaGrange Georgia, youthful playground of our very own Mr. Craig Thom.. Tomorrow we hit Atlanta, with the world of Coca Cola and luncheon at "Corkys" being the mornings plan... Off to fight Gators in my sleep... |
 My Hero. |