| We woke naturally at about 8:45am and were out of the motel by 9:30, first stop Graceland, both RK & I have been to Graceland before so we just did the cheapo tour, buy some postcards, visit the gift stores along Elvis Presley Blvd. post the cards from the Graceland post office so they get proper franking, and take a picture of the house from outside the graffiti covered wall.. 40 minutes max.
Then into the rental boat and off to "Graceland Too" which is in Holly Springs, Mississippi. "Graceland Too" is the home of Paul McLeod, the Universe, Galaxy, World's biggest Elvis fan.. (his words) his house is a shrine to the King. Open 24 hours per day, 7 days per week, 52 weeks per year, Graceland Too is simply the most extreme guided tour I've ever been on. Paul leads you through his collection of Elvis stuff talking at a frightening pace whilst trying to keep his false teeth from falling out, and the drool that this dental disaster is generating from escaping shirtward..
 This used to be a salad bar (Not Elvis's) |
The wall Elvis paid $70,000 for.. covered in graffiti
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Paul McLeod in the mirror describes his collection..
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Paul has a son "Elvis Aaron Presley McLeod" who "stands 6 foot 5, and has a photographic memory", Paul had a wife, but she asked him to choose between the Elvis collection and her.. bye bye wife.. somehow this separation cost Paul a million bucks, we didn't understand how.. but that's OK, his collection is valued at 10 million bucks by Lloyds of London, and see that record there? that's worth 500,000 dollars cash that is.. he has some Elvis guitars that are worth 4 Cadillacs, a suitcase of cash, a diamond ring and a house to live in.. Disney want to buy him out, but he's refusing, 185,000 people have been here, all from word of mouth, here let me take your picture, I've burned out 40 cameras taking pictures of visitors, there are 60,000 photos at the photo shop waiting to be developed right now, testaments to the tour line the walls.. and still Paul talks... toward the end of the tour 2 other people turned up, just before Paul started singing along to his Elvis records using a child's plastic microphone with built in spring reverb ("Like the one Elvis used on "Bumble Bee") The 2 new people can't understand what Paul's talking about, he's referring to stuff he told us an hour ago, he's literally frothing at the mouth.. the new girl is starting to look worried "have we missed much?" she asks me.. "about an hour.." I reply, she looks visibly concerned.. as our portion of the tour wound down Paul asked us to fill in comment sheets which we duly did and left him to start the tour again with the 2 new people.
(The previous paragraph has had its factual content compressed to simulate the rapid-fire delivery you are subjected to in Graceland Too...) Following the tour RK and I had to have an hour in the car with the radio off.. we had total sensory overload, trying to piece Paul's story together from the fragments that we'd understood.. the Gorilla running up and down the street chasing a banana, the girls in Jacuzzis outside the front door, the one-man helipad that arrived on a limo, Tom Hank's campervan, the girl who had her face ripped off, 30 million copies of Time magazine... it was all a blur, Paul McCleod, the greatest story teller on earth (Well, the fastest..) Go to Graceland Too *Now*, do not wait.. go NOW, go while it's still run by Paul McLeod, because he'll be dead one day and no matter how crazed his son is nothing can follow this. House on the Rock has been replaced as my favourite roadside attraction. |
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40 miles down the road is Tupelo Mississippi, location of Elvis's birthplace, neither of us had been here before and I'm afraid after Graceland Too it looked a little sanitized.. the 2 room shack Vernon Presley built for his young family sands in immaculately manicured grounds, nicely painted with a huge gift shop out back. The one thing missing is soul.. I asked 2 middle aged ladies if they'd been to Graceland Too.. "sure we have" they said.. "Crazy isn't it?" I asked, amazed that 2 middle American housewives would set foot in Pauls place.. only after I started asking questions did I realise they thought I meant Graceland too.. not "Graceland Too".. from the description we gave, I doubt they'll be sampling the real thing any time soon. 20 mins is all you need put aside for Elvis's birthplace.. Back into the car and off to the Ave Maria Grotto in Cullman, Alabama (3rd state today). On the way to Cullman, we passed through "Natural Bridge," a town which features.. you guessed it, a natural bridge. Craig has described this attraction as "cute".. a pretty damn good description, it's natural, it's a bridge, it's picturesque.. it took 15 minutes.. |
 Birthplace of the king.. |
 Wacky Grotto stuff.. |
The Ave Maria Grotto is a whole different can of worms, the grotto is all the work of one man, "Brother Joseph" a monk who dedicated his life to the construction of miniature models of famous religious landmarks.. Everything from the stable
in Bethlehem to the memorial for those who died at Hiroshima is reproduced in concrete, used cold cream containers, coloured glass and sea shells.. when you first enter it looks like there will be 10 or 20 models.. then you
turn the corner and whanmmo! hundreds of the blighters, some fantastical,
some accurate, all beautiful.
Brother Joseph died in 1961 at age 82, he started building models because owing to a physical deformity the church decided he wasn't priest material.. he'll be remembered, thanks to this beautiful place way longer than "Priest Joseph" ever would have been. I managed to get into a theological discussion with the priest in charge of the grotto.. I was way out of my depth, he lost me when he started comparing sacraments.. I lost him with my diatribe against Jehovahs Witless it was fun tho... highly recommended.  More grotto, pictures not doing it justice |
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From Cullman we drove north to Henderson Alabama to find a motel which would leave us close to the NASA Rocket Space Center, as we arrived the full size illuminated Saturn 5 rocket dominated the skyline.. we decided that after dinner we'd return and get some cool nighttime photos of this awesome beast.. which is what we did..
It's late now, so far we've driven 1010 miles, discovered there are 24,500 Mcdonalds restraunts, (no, really, that's a fact) and failed to tour Mammoth cave's 300 underground miles.. More of this essential information tomorrow.. G'nite y'all.. |
 Saturn Five at night.. |
